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Betty Butler on Inkwell, Inc.
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 A Fragile Life
My regular station is Friday afternoons from Noon to 3 at the
Hospice here. I had just finished my "shift" and was just finishing
my last song when the Firemen noisely brought in a comotose patient
on a stretcher and her social worker followed close behind. The
social worker ordered me to follow them to the patients' room
to "help the transition go better." I complied. I played several
songs while they transferred her to the bed and they left the room.
The social worker motioned for me to follow her into the hall.
The social worker said she was going out of town for the weekend
and that I was now "it." I told her I was a grief counselor, not the
case worker, and that I left at 3. She said, "well you can't now,
you have to stay and be with her until the end. It will only be an
hour or so."
I explained I had a school age child getting off the bus in 20
minutes and I had to be there to meet her. The charge nurse came to
mediate and confirmed my situation and that if anyone was in charge
it would be her. I went back into the room to get my harp and said
out loud, "I have to go home for a little while, but I will be back
to play more music for you."
When I got home I found my front door wide open, the dining room
table had jewelry box drawers upside down, and the den double french
doors swaying in the wind pulled off their frames. I ran to my harp
room, my other harps were safe. Then I ran out the back door to my
neighbors to call police and then wait for my daughters. The next
four hours were consumed with police, house searches, drama, and my
guys having to board up doors until the next day. After dinner my
husband had both girls under his wing and he asked why I was acting
so agitated since the house was barricaded. I told him I wasn't
frustrated about the robbery and our wedding rings being stolen so
much as I felt I was breaking a promise to my comotose patient. He
said, "She doesn't know you aren't there, but if it will make YOU
feel better, go."
I got to the hospice at 9PM. The charge nurse smiled and
said, "She hasn't died yet. She's waited ALL this time just for
you. She should have been gone hours ago."
This woman was ancient, only 80 pounds and had already outlived
family and two of her lawyers!
I went into the dimly lit room, sat next to her bed and bedside
table. I whispered, "Lizel, I am back. I will play some music for
you and you can relax and breathe easy now." I played for ten
minutes and there was no change. Then I noticed the bedside light
was burning hot on my right arm but I didn't want to shift away from
her. As I brought my gaze back to her, she had rolled over on her
side in fetal position facing me, not laying out straight. I
continued to play every song I knew, some improv. At ten till ten
she straightened out on her back and let out a big sigh. Intuitively
I began to play 'Till we meet again.' She sighed again and there was
a smile on her skeletal face, showing huge teeth! Then her mouth
closed, her face muscles relaxed and tears were coming down the sides
of her eyes. (I've learned in my hypnotherapy work, this is a natural
relaxation state for tears to release, this was not tears of joy or
sorrow.
I matched my chords with her breath. I started watching the
clock, the inhales were a minute apart. About ten o'clock the
inhales were 2 minutes apart. I sycronized with her, and pulled long
resonating chords (G) at each intake breath. Then at 12 minutes
after ten I noticed it had been 3 minutes since the last one, I
turned to look at her face and she was indeed gone. The room was now
very cool, the lamp didn't seem hot at all, my arm was very cool as
was I, there seemed to be a light breeze like the air conditioner but
this was winter. I continued to play for another 20 minutes. Used
Healers' of the Heart(tm) naturally .. most often..thanks Cyndi.
When I walked out to the hall with my harp and case the two
nurses at the charge station were crying. They said, "thank you for
playing for her. We don't get time off to go to patients' funeral
and there won't be one for her since she leaves no one behind. So
you actually played her funeral service here for her. We loved her
so much and you gave her that gift."
The charge nurse came down the hall with her arms wide open. She
took me in a hug and said, "Thank you for coming back. She waited
for you. You did the right thing all along. God bless you for
keeping your promise, for her and for us."
If ever that was pay back, that far exceeds any hard cash...
this was heart cashing in.
{Copyright Betty Butler, MA, NCC, CMP, CHt
Healers' of the Heart(tm) Outreach Grief Counselor, Hypnotherapist,
EPEC trainer (Educating Physicians On End Of Life Care) 2006}
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